A scene from one of my favorite books is called suddenly to mind: Eugenides on his knees in the solarium. (see Queen of Attolia, read no further to avoid spoilers)
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How did I offend the gods that they should betray me? Am I not your supplicant? Have I not sacrificed at your alters all my life?
...
And if I have offended them, why did I not fall? Why betray me to my enemies?
...
Have I offended the gods?
No.
Then WHY?
...
What would you give? he is answered, If you could get your hand back?
To undo the path you were placed on, that included so much suffering:
Would you give her up?
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And I see all at once how this is telling both sides of our story.
It's us in pain on the floor, at night, crying "Why have you brought me here? What is it I haven't done that you should leave me in this agony?"
And God's reply: If you could have me and the pain; or be painless, but without me... which would it be?
Sometimes all I can whisper is, there is no painless without you.
But we grow quiet. Because we choose Him.
...
And it's Jesus on his knees in the Garden of Gethsemane, saying "If there is any way to get out of this pain, I want it"
And again on the cross, "My God! Why would you abandon me?"
And the reply:
Would you give her up?
And all becomes quiet.
Because He chose you.
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