Monday, March 6, 2017

i want to know if you can see the stars tonight


I write today from the peaceful and inconvenient bonds of convalescence. Having quite abandoned decent self-care in the form of healthy sleeping and eating habits over the weekend, I have come down with a thorough cold and flu that's been making the rounds.

I consider it to be my own fault, with no bitterness. I don't know whether I shall ever become that one kind of responsible figure I know myself capable of being: who wears flannel about her throat during all inclement weather, and turns down a dance for a nap that would do her health good.

For now I am content that I know how to be "good" and employ this knowledge in good earnest on days like these. Since I came down with the wretched thing yesterday, I have dutifully cancelled engagements, taken naps and vitamins; made soup and porridge, and drunk honey-lemon water in quantity.

I have occupied my time, when not sleeping, with Dorothy Sayers' magnificent volume Busman's Honeymoon, which I needn't tell you is delightful in every regard. Last night as well, I enjoyed 'You've Got Mail' at the brilliant suggestion of my roommate Amy. I'd forgotten how visually beautiful everything was, especially Kathleen's flat. And I about died with joy over the streets of New York City, as usual. And I think we can all agree the soundtrack does the heart good.

Today the March sky remains cloudy, and birds can be seen tossed about as they try to fly against the wind. But the mercury is in the lower sixties and the air entirely agreeable. I was able to avail myself of the weather momentarily as I ambled out to administer brief ablution to my car in the form of pine sol and ground coffee.... one doesn't want spilled chili to languish in one's principle mode of transportation.

Having finished there, one's thoughts naturally stray to the long and hot bath. But I was able to stop off at the mat for today's yoga, not wishing to make one concession where others might follow. And I was able to move carefully and with awareness (which is, after all, the point) so as not to over-tax the body while still moving breath and muscle.

But now, yes, I am ensconced in a bath, doused liberally with four-thieves oil. That hot and fragrant steam doing wonders for the head. Very necessary too, as I have already employed pseudoephed in minimizing the pain to my spine induced by sinus pressure. I'm now contemplating soothing suppers and an evening movie.
~

As for my appalling lack of blogposts of late, I can only say that as days stream busy by, it can be increasingly difficult to write about them, or to find time to write about anything else. And the more heart-filled and full of glorious moments they are, the more I don't want to belittle that swirl of living, by one quick line of a post, attempting to sum up what a week has held. Impossible.

So I shan't try. Little bits that make it in here--like Tuesday morning drives to work when the ducks are flying over in pairs and you know spring is on it's way in: the ducks are back! And looking for nests (Wednesday morning it was geese)--when little bits make it in here, you know that there are a hundred other moments it would be impossible to share here. Inspiring quotes, and enlightening conversations; words of wisdom, love shared, fellowship over food. Fears and joys, and giving to God. Ministry opportunities, and prayers answered; and nights when your head hits the pillow and you have no idea how you're going to face tomorrow.
And then the sun rises
and the birds are singing to you
and people smile
and music moves you
and God is closer than your breath
and suddenly all you want to do is live and love well.

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Sharing

I haven't been posting much again... Difficult to find what I want to share sometimes. Busy days, swirling thoughts, dancing feet, learning heart, tired eyes, moving fingers, coffee and tea and a thermos of soup. Books and movies, friends and conversation, catching up with Mom, chasing children. Birthdays, sickness, work and exercise.
The cold is back. I'm dreaming of summer in good earnest now.
I'm still here; finding here; finding stillness.
Missing my brothers and friends who are away; wishing them the best there is to enjoy, but also wanting them to come back and share this space, and talk with me about life and hearts and things that matter.
Excited for the days ahead and what they will hold and bring and teach. What I can see, notice, appreciate; light to bask in. I want to speak life and love well.

I'm back here just to share a thing or two...

A spring poem by CS Lewis  on a favorite blog of mine... someday I'll see Addison's walk at Magdalen myself. Until then...

"still everything happens for a reason is no reason not to ask yourself: am i living it right?" - John Mayer

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Out


Sorry I've been pretty out of it in the posting realm these days. Juggling work, life, gorgeous weather to appreciate (keeping an eye on that forecast for tomorrow, since I have to drive...) and driving out to my parent's to spend a couple of days with a bunch of crazy kids. It's good, I'm good, are you good? oh, good. Back soon.

Monday, February 20, 2017

1 The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When evildoers assail me to eat up my flesh, my adversaries and foes, it is they who stumble and fall.
3 Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, yet I will be confident.
4 One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple.
5 For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock.
6 And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me, and I will offer in his tent sacrifices with shouts of joy; I will sing and make melody to the LORD.
7 Hear, O LORD, when I cry aloud; be gracious to me and answer me!
8 You have said, "Seek my face." My heart says to you, "Your face, LORD, do I seek."
9 Hide not your face from me. Turn not your servant away in anger, O you who have been my help. Cast me not off; forsake me not, O God of my salvation!
10 For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the LORD will take me in.
11 Teach me your way, O LORD, and lead me on a level path because of my enemies.
12 Give me not up to the will of my adversaries; for false witnesses have risen against me, and they breathe out violence.
13 I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living!
14 Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!  - Psalms 27

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Saturday, February 18, 2017

unseasonable warmth




one of these days I'll get back to posting properly...
First teatime outdoors of 2017
enjoying the sunsets and sunrises lately

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

I am called Liv

(called to live) 

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Isn't Love Cool?

If you haven't been bowled over recently by the realization of God's overwhelming love for you, know that is what I want for you, and more than that, it's God's heart for you as well.

As I journey through these days, growing exponentially, processing the enormous work of the Spirit through our weekend retreat... the seeds planted, the walls broken down, the plowing begun... I'm just giddy with the glory of it.

Grace upon grace... there's just been an outpouring of prayers answered, and new joys, and reasons to rejoice with gratitude. Just want to mention a few things that I just love to death.
Friends. This isn't an accurate representation of course, but I don't have a good photo: we're always too busy being our hilarious, busy, and conversational selves

I'm just crazy about my city. Love this place. When the day clears up, and I see it gleaming before me... or when I get home after the weekend and look out my window to the lights glowing through a strip of trees, and the moon shining brightly above...
Early morning sunrise. Even when you've been up for three hours before this happens, it's a great view to have from the workplace.

Monday, February 13, 2017

Sing for your Heart

So you want to be free
See an end of the walls
He will take them all down
But it hurts when they fall

Lift up your head
You are loved my friend
You’re surrounded; give up
Only love can win

You’ll carry it with you
This safety and space
Wherever you go - love
You found in this place

Walk like a Narnian
Deny fear a hold
Open heart, open arms
Let your steps become bold

Fill your lungs with laughter
This crazy spinning world
Is yours in faith to wander
So leap with hope unfurled

Warm your hands on the cup
Find a place at the table
You are never alone
He is willing and able

Sharing minds and mealtimes
Opening your eyes
Morning rhymes with coffee
And so we arise

Souls in murmuration
Lives ahead to roam
Lifting up each other
And reaching for home

Let the hope in your days
Put a light in your glance
Let your shoulders swing free
Breathe in and just dance

Let’s see the world
Just get up and go
Don’t worry about it
We’ll go with the flow

Caffeine and constellations
Patterned city lights
Swirling concentration
Strolling busy nights

Lift up your voice
Step into your part
His Spirit is in you
So sing for your heart.

all rights reserved to this blog, January 2017

Friday, February 10, 2017

Brothers

This weekend we pour out our hearts together and lead our friends in worship
So grateful to be doing it with these guys



Pictures are from practice sessions, except the very random one of me, because I don't take pictures of myself singing, obviously. Not pictured here, our fabulous drummer.