Trying something (anything) for 30 days is a good idea

As soon as I committed to doing this Whole30 thing, suddenly I wanted to do 30 days of everything: yoga, posting stuff I like on Instagram, blogging. And the thing about committing to something big(ish) for 30 days is that it's commitment: You have to move the rest of your world around to accommodate it. I started meal-planning and cooking ahead, and making freezer meals for 'emergencies', and suddenly my life is in a steep trend toward being more organized. I started laying out my clothes for the next couple of days. I want to keep up instagram to document my journey. I need to journal privately as well so that I can track the physical and emotional effects. I want to track the effect on exercise (and reap maximum benefits), so I dedicated to a daily yoga routine. Because of the detox and changes involved, I'm going to keep an eye on my water intake. And try to listen to when my body needs sleep or fresh air.

And I haven't even started.

I'm not saying you should decide to do everything at once. Not at all. We know how biting off more than we can chew can be discouraging and lead to us finishing nothing. I'm saying: pick something you're passionate about, give yourself 30 days to be dedicated to it, and see what other areas of your life follow suit.

And yes, I will get back to you on how it goes, and what parts of the dedication I am able to follow through on. Because I am genuinely interested to know for myself.
Raise your glass (of water) to October!

Selling yourself short

I call this a snippet from the daily RAFFLE, (Random Advice For & From Liv, Etc)

Today we are talking about selling yourself short. I've been learning a lot in the last month about the power of how we think when it comes to habits we want to change. Particularly when it comes to the subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind believes what you say (and think) and tries to make it come true. (For example, if you keep saying 'I always eat too much', it's more likely that tonight you will. If you're continually saying you're a terrible friend, you may find it more difficult to write that letter you planned.) Your brain likes patterns, and it likes to be right.

Now, I'm not advocating that you run around saying you're an athletic scientist when in fact you like chemistry and do yoga most days. But I'm talking about stopping our habitual, unconscious snubbing of ourselves, when we could be using our words (and thoughts) to encourage others, hold ourselves accountable, and speak even truer words. I'm all for sarcasm (no one knows this) and some good self-deprecating humor, but remain conscious of what you're doing and don't let this carry over into constant negativity. Speak with hope. Honesty is about admitting when we're wrong and admitting we don't know, but it's also about saying yes, and about speaking up when you have the answer. Be on the alert for both types of lies.

A few instances have come up in the past week that have me mulling over this. On the surface they seem common-place, but they gave me a wealth to think about.

Twice in the last week I've been asked if I own the coffeeshop that I work at. And I kind of laughed and said No, I was just an assistant manager, and muddled on from there. But the second person I talked to replied, "There's no just about a manager." And I realized he was absolutely right.
I will often use the word 'manager' as if it were a courtesy title, ever anxious that I don't leave the 'assistant' part off. But the truth is I am trusted, allowed, and expected to manage. Which I do.
And it occurred to me that whenever people ask what I do I tell them I'm a barista. This is true. Manifestly. And it's probably my favorite part of the job. But that is not my complete job-description anymore. I am also a coffee-roaster, and one of the managers. Not everyone needs to know that, of course. I don't have to stop saying I'm a barista. But I do need to stop saying 'just'.

On a similar note, I saw this post by the Edie I keep referring to lately, where she recounts how she slayed a workout only to find that because she'd misunderstood the rules, it 'didn't count'. And if this isn't a brilliant example, I don't know what is. Because we can all sympathize with the frustration of such a thing: we've all been there in some capacity. But the world, the flesh, and the devil, conspire to make us believe this means It Didn't Count: that the hard work and the dedication and the way we do the right thing, and test our limits, and live to the fullest, and appreciate the gifts we've been given... that it only counts if our name makes it on the board. And it's just not true. Let me tell you my jaw dropped when I saw the weight complexes and kipping pull-ups she was doing: I hope I can do that some day (when the stars have aligned and so have money, health, and my relationship with pain).
It all counts.
Because look at how strong we're getting? And I'm talking about all kinds of dragon-slaying: fighting the fog, fighting depression, fear, anxiety, shame. WODs, housework, homework.
Bend that bronze. Psalm 18 shows us a picture of great peril "the torrents of destruction assailed me",
of God's deliverance "he rescued me because he delighted in me",
and then of God as a trainer "he trains my hands for war so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze".
"For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall."
Don't tell me any of those walls don't count. He knows.

The biggest problem with selling yourself short is actually that we're minimizing the work of God. If we don't acknowledge the great profundity of our lives, the strides we make, the glory we carry, it can stunt our gratitude and even our witness. We are those for whom Christ died! We have been bought with a price, and He has declared who we are. Will you disparage His work by ignoring His words? He has called us friends and brothers, righteous and victorious, free and accepted, triumphant heirs, the temple in which He lives.

Who Does God Say That I Am?
I came across this, and have bookmarked it to read on the daily. I hope you read it. It's a profound reminder of the truth, and I hope it changes the way we live. (And that's just the highlights from a vast story that is only the tip of a grand and infinite mystery!) I'm telling you, this stuff is amazing.

food and friends and stuff

Do you have any idea how many times I've tried to write a blog post in the last couple of months? Well, you might have an idea, because no doubt you too have a life and too many things you'd like to do. I've been craving creativity these days; I think it's the fall weather. I long to write and get these half-developed thoughts and ideas and emotions down on paper, as I haven't been able to do somehow, for months. But I'm feeling inspired, guys. The rain and thunder recently is doing wonders for my psyche. I'm sure the yoga doesn't hurt either, although I've noticed the benefit (as well as the pain lol) mostly in my physical body. In this beloved month of September I'm recommitting to some things that are important to me: yoga, gratitude, journalling, optimism. Hoping that this cycle of looking up and breathing deep will also carry me into more walks in the park, more poetry and blogging, more art. Edie and her challenge have been instrumental in training my mindset in such areas. It's like having a life-coach for a month (a month meant to give you the tools to go forth and life-coach thyself).
I pray that the benefits of it will lift me right into October, and trickle down through my habits and thought-processes, and keep popping up in my conversation and writings.
In September I've been working on re-training my mindset: jump-starting motivation, gratitude, (talking to myself rather than listening to myself) etc. And I started doing yoga everyday again. But  my various and sundry health-issues are cropping up again, and I'm realizing I need to take more strides in the direction of my health. So in October I'm going to do Whole30! Full on and no cheating, as whole30 should be, and out of the way before visiting and the season of Thanksgiving is upon us. (I am NOT sacrificing gluten-free, dairy-free pumpkin pie and stuffing forever. They're just out in October.)

So here's to feeling better, to doing hard things, to getting back some energy. Here's to finding new recipes, and challenging our daily habits, and stopping the aching joints. I plan to do some daily instagraming to keep myself amused (and accountable), and journalling to keep track of my food discoveries and just how I feel each day. Hopefully I'll be back on here regularly to either talk about what I'm learning food-wise, or to completely distract myself from all food thoughts and to explore creativity and ideas in different avenues.

I need to post this before this draft to gets lost, unfinished. I'll end with a couple of articles and a podcast that have been reminding me of beauty and friendship lately. Let's invest!

We Read for Beauty -Sarah Clarkson

Women's Friendship in Film and Television -podcast with Joy Clarkson

You Won't Make It Alone -DG article

Starting the morning right

I don't have time for a real post this morning, as I'm headed up north with the family for a rare bit of vacay. But I started my morning with gratitude, and with this lovely yoga-sesh (one of my all-time favorites), and let me tell you: it's a great way to start your day. My heart and my spine feel so alive this morning! I had to share.



More later. Here's hoping the north woods and great lakes rejuvenate the artistic side of my brain!

September

With the beginning of September, my notebooking starts in earnest. I did some priming of the pump last week, and I've joined Edie Wadsworth for a more guided, encouraged, and spurred-on version of this month. I always use autumn (I count September in there too--so I start with my birthday, which is TODAY!) as a time to take stock: a jumping off point, so that hopefully I continue throughout the whole "school year" with the journaling, studying, and awareness necessary to expand my mind and love my life.
(apologies for the Paul-ine sentences)

So yesterday, at Edie's prompting, I took stock, made notes, and 'rated' certain areas of life that are important to me. And I cried.
It takes brutal honesty with oneself, to make progress, and often that is the very thing I run from. I hide the truth from myself because I don't want to deal with it with God. Because facing that kind of hurt or discontent or shame is brutal. I hate admitting that I'm unhappy, because I know I have a beautiful life. I don't like thinking about bad habits until I know how to fix them (which of course won't happen till I face them)...

But with these kinds of assessments, it's easy to get caught up in where you're stuck: to feel that it will necessarily be a long time before you're better again--to believe that you cannot walk in wholeness before you've addressed all your struggles and confusions. But my Bible-reading this morning reminded me--Jesus invites us to walk in HIS wholeness. To simply look to Him. 
He came for the broken.

Yes, healing can be a journey, a long troubled road. Sanctification is long-term, ruts are real, and addressing old wounds can be necessary. 
But don't let that stop you from walking straight into the arms of Jesus now. 
Don't turn away from His smile.
Walking with your head held high is always appropriate with the Father and Brother we've got.

"Therefore if anyone is Christ he is a new creation: the old has passed away, behold, the new has come!" -2Cor.5:17

That passage was at the top of my devos this morning, and I immediately, went: yess🙌: Don't let grief over your sin keep you thinking about it and identifying with it. Hurl it from you. You are a new creation. Of course we may have to do that again tomorrow (probably). But don't let shame keep you from walking away: "Go, and sin no more" Jesus says. In another of the passages from my morning, He even says, "neither do I condemn you" --Think of that!

I turned to Psalms next, and today's reading was chapter 51. And for some reason today, this familiar passage felt like a particularly gracious invitation. This broken-hearted passage addressing sin and shame and depravity, was for me today, a smile.
We are not left to ourselves. Laid out before me were the words to say: a prayer of repentance and faith, needing only my heart behind it. An invitation to call my sin sin, ask to be emptied and refilled, that I might turn and praise--turn and teach others the very truth of God that has so lifted me.
Forgive me by your power and love, and restore me to your delight.

"Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit." -Ps.51:12

This does not lessen the need to seize your life with both hands, but increases it. This didn't dampen my mood for a September of transformation: it established it. Jesus has smiled upon me, and by his light, I will see glory again. 
It's a reminder that this CAN be day one. A clean slate.
Come to Me. Be made new.
"if you tarry till you're better, you will never come at all"

Because it's cyclical, you see. I knew that there was no way I could motivate myself, or face my baggage, without the smile of God. And I knew that all my rubbish warranted anything but that. And yet, with my eyes cast down, how could I see the Lion's tears? Does He not care more about it than even you do yourself?

When I began, even in my numbness, to write it down... to let myself be broken by the truth... what did He send through the cracks in my soul? Sunshine. Dandelions. A new day. A whole year of newness.
I begged from my blankness that He change my desires, He answered.
Open your hands. He will fill them.

"I hear a sound I recognize
You lift my chin, and seek my eyes.
A song of love you sing to me
I ache to sing it back to thee"

My yoga teacher says, "don't decide where it ends". But every time we step onto the mat we decide where it begins. Here. Step onto the mat. Turn to look to Jesus. Breathe in; breathe out. The hardest part is over. You have begun.
Do you want to want Him?
Ask. He loves to give.