I was very inspired recently by Lanier's re-post here. Especially by the part where she begins: "If there’s anything God has been teaching me in the past year, it’s that flying in the face of fear is one of the best ways to shock my soul awake". I feel very much the same, for lately I have had a few new fears of my own, and that has set me thinking.
I have had very little to fear in my life, and yet every small situation can bring an awareness of my own short-comings, and a fresh dependance on God, which is the very prayer of my heart. So aren't these small fears a blessing? They drive me to prayer, something I need so desparately but still seem to forget. Even that first cry for help is an answer, in a way; an immediate reliance on the One that is greater than life, breath and the universe around us.
And I don't want that to end. 'Flying in the face of fear' is a sort of conquering, the kind we can do everyday. I want to be the sort of adventurer who goes outside her comfort-zone to do hard stuff and learn new things, be it writing for others to see and criticize, or learning a new language or skill that will humiliate me at times (ahem... driving?) or simply keeping silent when I may be misunderstood. They'll be my own personal pirates to fight. They'll keep me from drifting complacently through life; and they'll drive me to prayer and to laughter.
Thank you Lanier, for saying it so well; for your inspiration; and for sharing this quote:
Chesterton: “Anything worth doing is worth doing badly.”
Well, yes! And being able to 'laugh at the days to come'--and even at yourself--is a good habit to cultivate.
... And yes, now, more than ever I want to learn French: Malheureusement, je ne parle que petit peu de francais.